Well, I'm at 36 weeks today and for the most part things are going great! The only thing I could live without is this kiddo is already showing how stubborn it can be, I assure you this is a feature he/she gets from David and not me(ha!) because it's still not head down. It should be moving into position but it's happy where it is. So, unless things change, I'm scheduled for a c-section in a few weeks.Of course we still have time for the baby to flip over, so nothing is set in stone.
I know this is weird to say, (and maybe I've been watching too many episodes of 'A Baby Story' on TLC) but I am kind of bummed I won’t get to have a normal labor. I mean, I wasn’t really looking forward to it (by any stretch of the imagination) but labor was never something I was afraid of. It’s part of life and was always how I envisioned having a baby.
I’ve read this is not a totally uncommon feeling to have. I will admit that it's kind of neat knowing when the baby will come (unless I go into labor earlier!)but also strange to know that one day we will wake up and know that our last day of non-parenthood is gone forever! I'm also not really looking forward to the recovery but such is life I guess. As long as the three of us come home safe and sound, that’s all I care about.
A very wise friend pointed out that I probably didn’t always envision myself living in the Maryland suburbs, being a cat owner and eating cheeseburgers either, but life is about adjustments. This is not how I had always pictured it, but it’s the way things are playing out so I have to just enjoy the fact that we are going to have a healthy happy baby soon. Also, not much about this pregnancy has been as I had always pictured it. From fertility treatments to cesareans- it's been a really unique experience.
I can also think of it as now I will have something in common with Kate Winslet, Angelina Jolie, Victoria Beckham, Julia Roberts, Gwen Stefani, Claudia Schiffer and Brooke Shields (but also Tori Spelling, Britney Spears and Ashlee Simpson so it’s a wash I guess).
I actually recently read a quote Kate Winslet gave after her daughter was delivered via C-section in 2000. She said she was left feeling “like a complete failure.” She also said “There’s this thing amongst women in the world that if you can handle childbirth, you can handle anything. I had never handled childbirth, and I felt like, in some way that I couldn’t join that ‘powerful women’s club.’" I honestly don't feel like a failure. For the most part, I have enjoyed this pregnancy and tried to make the best of all the bizarre quirks that have come along with it. I know that once I'm holding our baby I won't care how it got there but it’s comforting to know it’s normal to have these mixed feelings about c-sections.
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