Backdated post- April 26, 2010: IUI Day!

IUI Day!

Today was my insemination. This afternoon, in my fashion-forward paper gown and the comfy pink socks I brought from home, I had a ‘date’ with one of my favorite nurses and a very important syringe (hey, at least it wasn’t a turkey baster). Hopefully, she and I just made a baby. It’s actually kind of funny- I left the office at 1:15 and by 2:45 I was back at my desk sending emails. The whole world keeps on going around me as if nothing is happening, but I just know (hope) there is a tiny miracle going on inside of me.

I’m glad we took a little break after January. I needed time to get myself together and mentally prepare for this round, which actually wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Maybe that is due to the break… who knows. I responded well to the Follistim, and my sonogram yesterday showed that I have a few really good follicles. This isn’t exactly how I envisioned starting a family, it’s not the romantic way I always dreamed things would go. But my perspective is that we don’t have any control over the cards we are dealt, so we make a plan and we play the hand the very best way we can. Besides, I have a feeling it’s all going to be worth it.

As I write this, I feel reflective but also very hopeful. I hope this insemination works. I hope our baby is healthy and happy and smart and talented. I hope our parents and friends are not hurt when they find out we’ve been keeping this from them. I feel lucky that David and I can afford this, that my insurance covers a lot of it, that science has come so far, that our relationship is strong enough to endure this, and that my work hours are flexible enough for me to go through it all relatively unnoticed. More than anything, I feel lucky to have a partner who has been supportive of me and all of my (admittedly sometimes completely irrational) emotions. This experience has strengthened our commitment to each other and to having a family. I have faith in G-d and in the marvels of modern medicine. I am sure we will reach our goal of starting a family soon- I hope it’s all beginning right now.