My sweet little girl, I can’t believe how fast the days have flown by. At the end of this first month together, I feel like on the one hand you were born just yesterday. On the other hand, I cannot imagine life without you. It feels like you’ve been a part of our family forever.
When they told us you were a girl, I immediately burst into tears. To hear your sharp wail and see your perfect round face, it made time stand still. When they placed you into your daddy’s arms, I could not imagine a more perfect place on earth to be. We kept saying your name over and over again and telling you how much we love you and that we were so happy to finally meet you.
I thought I’d miss feeling your little kicks inside me, but I don’t. I love holding you in my arms and looking into your big beautiful blue eyes. I love kissing your cheeks and smelling your sweet baby smell. I love our quiet time in the mornings as we watch tv in bed together and I love our sunny afternoons playing in the living room on your rain forest play mat. I even love our late nights rocking back and forth in the glider- everyone keeps telling me that I should appreciate every moment with you, even the fussy ones and I absolutely do. You will never be this tiny again.
You open your eyes more and more each day, gazing at lights and turning your head to look around at the big bright world. You’ve begun focusing on close up faces and you're becoming more alert every day. It seems that each hour your personality develops a bit more!
You have different types of cries and sounds that I am still figuring out. There is a snorty dramatic head flailing back and forth feed me cry and the long strong lamb-like cry that means you're uncomfortable. You don’t cry much when you are wet or dirty… maybe you haven’t figured out those cries yet. You sigh deeply when you are eating, and you make this ooooh sound when you are soothed. You love being held and kissed and talked to. You love music at night, especially your Jerry Garcia kids’ songs. Your sneezes are just the most adorable thing I have ever heard, but you burp and fart like a grown man. We will have to work on those before high school.
You love your bath- or should I say your bath spa experience. You lay there like a movie star at a Hollywood day spa in the bubbly water letting me wash your feet and tummy and neck. You seem to really enjoy it when I wash your hair; maybe it’s because you know that an awesome moisturizer massage is coming up. You really sleep well after baths too. It's a good thing you like the bath, because this month we have had dozens of huge spit ups as well as projectile poops and pees and spit-ups.
I just love our little family; I love watching daddy come home and give you kisses. Seeing the way he loves you makes me so proud to be your mommy. I knew David would be an amazing dad- but I was unprepared for the consuming love he has for both of us now. I smile as he reads to you at night and I can’t stop taking pictures of you napping on his chest. He loves to do tummy time with you and feed you and give you big kisses. I look forward to him coming home in the evenings so we can have family time, but I also cherish our time alone together during the afternoons and at night.
I stare at your ever changing face and try to memorize the feeling of your small weight in my arms. I listen to your sighs and squeaks as you eat and try to store away this feeling of love as I hold you close to me. I can’t wait to know who you are and what you will be like. I look at your hands and wonder what they will hold, what your first words will be, what you will like to do. But at the same time I want to pause you at four weeks old forever. My beautiful sweet little girl Maya, you are so precious to me. I will love you forever.
Maya, each day brings something new for me to love about you. Sometimes I wish I could hit pause and take more time to watch you play, nuzzle my nose in your neck and cover you with kisses. But then I wouldn't get to the next day and see what you discover next. Even after a long night, each day has been more wonderful than the last.
Before you, I knew about love, but not this kind. This kind is enormous. There has never been a better feeling than falling for you, my sweetie. You are so full of possibility. I hope I am capable of showing you all you can be and do in this life. I am so proud to be your mom and I am so grateful for you.
Love,
Mommy
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